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2025: The Year of the Panda
Dec. 31st, 2025 03:02 pmI don't feel majestic enough to declare myself a panda, but I do feel like a panda all the same. I struggled with finding the creature to embody this year if I'm being honest. I did a google search for animals that are cautious because that's how I feel I've moved this year. Panda's were on the list and then I learned some new things about pandas.
One, they camouflage well despite it seeming like they might not be able to. I mean, it's a giant black and white bear, and yet, they're hard to see in the wild. I've been doing well at hiding in plain sight.
Two, pandas do a lot of adapting to their environment.
Three, they spend a lot of their day eating and sleeping. I'm not happy about those habits of mine, but they do exist and they got me through some harder moments of the year. I've learned to tune them toward productive results.
Four, pandas are no longer considered endangered, and this is the fact that stuck with me the most. I feel like I'M no longer endangered when it comes to me becoming an author. The task still feels bigger than me, however, I am learning to lean on the one who knows best. The one who will support me and guide me. My faith and connection to God is so much stronger so despite everything feeling impossible, I know it's not going to be made by me. I'll probably expand on this another day.
The point: this year is a panda. Going with my gut here.
My word for the year was "joy", and remembering that word is what got me through the year. A lot of days, I woke up and moved straight into "I NEED TO DO ALL OF THE WORDS SO THAT I CAN BE CONSIDERED PRODUCTIVE!" mode. This mode is toxic to me for a lot of reasons. I'm worshiping a word count, and caring more about output than I am about enjoying what I do. I need to connect with a story if I want it to go well, for it to turn out well. There needs to be a heart beating behind every word on the page. Joy needs to be present.
On those days, I'd tell myself to slow down and breathe for a moment. Connect. Feel something. Do not stress about the word count.
Overall, it's been an okay year. My output of writing was about 135,000 words. A smaller year than what I normally do. Words are not the only piece that matters. Heart matters. The end.
Eventually, I grew to only focus on the enjoyment of writing. Which makes me ready for 2026.
One, they camouflage well despite it seeming like they might not be able to. I mean, it's a giant black and white bear, and yet, they're hard to see in the wild. I've been doing well at hiding in plain sight.
Two, pandas do a lot of adapting to their environment.
Three, they spend a lot of their day eating and sleeping. I'm not happy about those habits of mine, but they do exist and they got me through some harder moments of the year. I've learned to tune them toward productive results.
Four, pandas are no longer considered endangered, and this is the fact that stuck with me the most. I feel like I'M no longer endangered when it comes to me becoming an author. The task still feels bigger than me, however, I am learning to lean on the one who knows best. The one who will support me and guide me. My faith and connection to God is so much stronger so despite everything feeling impossible, I know it's not going to be made by me. I'll probably expand on this another day.
The point: this year is a panda. Going with my gut here.
My word for the year was "joy", and remembering that word is what got me through the year. A lot of days, I woke up and moved straight into "I NEED TO DO ALL OF THE WORDS SO THAT I CAN BE CONSIDERED PRODUCTIVE!" mode. This mode is toxic to me for a lot of reasons. I'm worshiping a word count, and caring more about output than I am about enjoying what I do. I need to connect with a story if I want it to go well, for it to turn out well. There needs to be a heart beating behind every word on the page. Joy needs to be present.
On those days, I'd tell myself to slow down and breathe for a moment. Connect. Feel something. Do not stress about the word count.
Overall, it's been an okay year. My output of writing was about 135,000 words. A smaller year than what I normally do. Words are not the only piece that matters. Heart matters. The end.
Eventually, I grew to only focus on the enjoyment of writing. Which makes me ready for 2026.
2024: The Year of the Turtle
Dec. 31st, 2024 11:30 amSome people refer to their plots as "bunnies" because they procreate at alarming rates and it's hard to keep up. I've always called my plots turtles.
Mostly, because I like turtles more than bunnies. They're cute and sweet. I've always had a special place in my heart for them. However, I also think it's more appropriate for me because while my plots are plenty, they move at slow speeds. I only get a small piece of them at a time, and they take a while to flesh out to the point where I can actually feel sort of confident to write.
This year, I got a lot of plot ideas, a lot of marketing ideas, and a lot of miscellaneous ambitious ideas. All of them feel slow.
I'm approaching everything with caution, for better or worse. I've been impulsive in the past, so I want to make sure I don't mess things up again by being impulsive now. There's a fine line between being bold and being reckless.
I wrote 200,000+ words this year: also at a slower speed. I don't have the exact number of words right now because I'm still hoping to do more writing after this post.
It took a while to get the words rolling this year. Eventually, I started moving at an okay speed, and I'm keeping pace for the most part. It's better than how I started, that's for sure.
I've done a lot of editing. I regained the rights of a number of projects, and I edited the crap out of them. Seriously. They aren't perfect by any means, but they are the way I've always been hoping. Perhaps publishing professionals will disagree with my vision. Today, I don't care. Today, I'm happy because I'm happy with my work, and that's more important to me at this stage of my life.
Which brings us to my mission for 2025.
2024, the mission was discipline. I wanted to learn how to push forward despite not feeling it. I was able to do that in a lot of aspects of my life, not only my creative work. It was definitely hard, but I have so much more peace than usual. This is huge for me.
My mission for 2025 is JOY.
Lately, I feel as if I don't find much joy in anything. I want to create because I enjoy it and it gives me freedom. I want to find more joy in my family and friends. I want to feel more joy in my mental and physical health. I want to spend more time living in the moment rather than for an image online. I want more joy in the Lord, and having a stronger connection to my spiritual beliefs. I want more JOY.
So I'm going to seek that out. I'm hoping this translates into productivity as well, but if the only thing I get out of the year is a greater sense of happiness and peace, that's okay too.
Goodbye 2024. You weren't as awful as some people say. I thank you for all you've done for me.
Mostly, because I like turtles more than bunnies. They're cute and sweet. I've always had a special place in my heart for them. However, I also think it's more appropriate for me because while my plots are plenty, they move at slow speeds. I only get a small piece of them at a time, and they take a while to flesh out to the point where I can actually feel sort of confident to write.
This year, I got a lot of plot ideas, a lot of marketing ideas, and a lot of miscellaneous ambitious ideas. All of them feel slow.
I'm approaching everything with caution, for better or worse. I've been impulsive in the past, so I want to make sure I don't mess things up again by being impulsive now. There's a fine line between being bold and being reckless.
I wrote 200,000+ words this year: also at a slower speed. I don't have the exact number of words right now because I'm still hoping to do more writing after this post.
It took a while to get the words rolling this year. Eventually, I started moving at an okay speed, and I'm keeping pace for the most part. It's better than how I started, that's for sure.
I've done a lot of editing. I regained the rights of a number of projects, and I edited the crap out of them. Seriously. They aren't perfect by any means, but they are the way I've always been hoping. Perhaps publishing professionals will disagree with my vision. Today, I don't care. Today, I'm happy because I'm happy with my work, and that's more important to me at this stage of my life.
Which brings us to my mission for 2025.
2024, the mission was discipline. I wanted to learn how to push forward despite not feeling it. I was able to do that in a lot of aspects of my life, not only my creative work. It was definitely hard, but I have so much more peace than usual. This is huge for me.
My mission for 2025 is JOY.
Lately, I feel as if I don't find much joy in anything. I want to create because I enjoy it and it gives me freedom. I want to find more joy in my family and friends. I want to feel more joy in my mental and physical health. I want to spend more time living in the moment rather than for an image online. I want more joy in the Lord, and having a stronger connection to my spiritual beliefs. I want more JOY.
So I'm going to seek that out. I'm hoping this translates into productivity as well, but if the only thing I get out of the year is a greater sense of happiness and peace, that's okay too.
Goodbye 2024. You weren't as awful as some people say. I thank you for all you've done for me.
