S2: Day 171 (536)
Jun. 19th, 2024 10:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jillysriserI've been feeling overwhelmed lately. I think a lot of it is something my brain is embellishing. It's kind of like when I ask my kids to weed the garden. They see it all and freak out. "No Mom! That's too much! It'll take FOREVER! You're ruining my life!" Then they start working on it, do a good chunk in 10-15 minutes, and realize it's not as bad as it seems.
My brain is doing that with all of the things I need to get done, and WANT to get done. "No! That's too much writing! You're ruining EVERYTHING! What do you mean you want to read that book by the end of the week? There aren't enough hours in the day! Ugh, I'm taking a four hour nap instead!"
This is anxiety and depression in a nutshell. At least, my experience with it. I feel lucky and blessed in that my experience with it is mild. I can't imagine what it would feel like to have something even stronger than this. What I go through barely feels manageable as it is.
My back situation has definitely been a huge catalyst for my latest bout of mental health obstacles. My brain can only focus on one problem at a time right now, and it is prioritizing my physical health over my creative health. Both of those things are vital to my mental health as a whole.
Today, I feel more determined than usual to do creative things. My cat is trying to encourage me to take an epic nap, though. He is very hard to say no to. He smooshes his face into mine, meows sweetly, purrs loudly, and gets cozy in ways that are not productive for writing. Cat time has been good for my mental health.
Maybe someday I'll stream my writing time. Being on camera might help me stay accountable. I used to do that kind of thing a lot with my writing friends from the internet.
We'll see.
Currently...
Playing: "Mario Wonder". "Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney", streaming on Twitch. "Valkyria Chronicles". "I am Setsuna". "Kingdom Hearts". "Animal Well".
Reading: "My Favorite Thing is Monsters Part Two" print. "The Bad Weather Friend" print. "Empire of the Vampire" audio. "Titanic Survivor's Book Club" audio. "The Kamogawa Food Detectives" print. "Moonstruck Vol 1" ebook.
Watching: Amazing Race, Season 13. Psych, Season 5.
My brain is doing that with all of the things I need to get done, and WANT to get done. "No! That's too much writing! You're ruining EVERYTHING! What do you mean you want to read that book by the end of the week? There aren't enough hours in the day! Ugh, I'm taking a four hour nap instead!"
This is anxiety and depression in a nutshell. At least, my experience with it. I feel lucky and blessed in that my experience with it is mild. I can't imagine what it would feel like to have something even stronger than this. What I go through barely feels manageable as it is.
My back situation has definitely been a huge catalyst for my latest bout of mental health obstacles. My brain can only focus on one problem at a time right now, and it is prioritizing my physical health over my creative health. Both of those things are vital to my mental health as a whole.
Today, I feel more determined than usual to do creative things. My cat is trying to encourage me to take an epic nap, though. He is very hard to say no to. He smooshes his face into mine, meows sweetly, purrs loudly, and gets cozy in ways that are not productive for writing. Cat time has been good for my mental health.
Maybe someday I'll stream my writing time. Being on camera might help me stay accountable. I used to do that kind of thing a lot with my writing friends from the internet.
We'll see.
Currently...
Playing: "Mario Wonder". "Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney", streaming on Twitch. "Valkyria Chronicles". "I am Setsuna". "Kingdom Hearts". "Animal Well".
Reading: "My Favorite Thing is Monsters Part Two" print. "The Bad Weather Friend" print. "Empire of the Vampire" audio. "Titanic Survivor's Book Club" audio. "The Kamogawa Food Detectives" print. "Moonstruck Vol 1" ebook.
Watching: Amazing Race, Season 13. Psych, Season 5.
